Grief. Stress. And All The Rest.
Recently I got to experience the relationship between grief, stress, and peoples perception of the proper way to grieve. What I have come to learn is that they way a person mourns death is easily comparable to a snow flake…no two are exactly a like. Yet, it seems that most people expect to see the same reaction and that was the most frustrating part of all. Expecting two very different people to grieve in the same way is truly impracticle. Every single person is different and so is the way that they process information. Treating them as if they are broken, or not broken enough, can anctually cause additional pain and grief.
My method of dealing with stress and grief is very different than most. Some people tell me that it is “unhealthy” but only because they expect to see tears and a sudden increase in black clothing. The way I grieve is different, I make sure my family is taken care of and then grieve in my own way. Some of the ways I grieve are: working out, drawing, writing (hello my beautiful readers 🙂 ) and things like that. If I let the tears roll, they happen when I am alone…and that is ok!
So what I am trying to say is that it is okay to mourn in your own way. If you need time alone, then take it! If you need to cry uncontrollably for a while just do it. Only you know how you need to process in order to get back to a “normal”(or as close to normal) life. There is no correct way to grieve and no one should ever tell you that you are doing it wrong…as long as you are not causing physical harm to yourself. If you ever get to that point you need to let someone know. But if your way to grieve is to put headphones on and run until you can’t run anymore then by all means run.
Find your own way to grieve. Find an outlet. Or find time to be alone and allow yourself to feel whatever it is that you need to feel. Whatever way you chose to grieve is your own. And remember that others deal differently to and all you can really do is just be there for them. Don’t push them to tell you things, just allow them to be in that moment and when they are ready they will come to you. It really is all about allowing yourself and others the right to feel and deal with things in their own way. Again, people are like snowflakes…no two are exactly alike…and so is the way that they mourn.
Posted on April 17, 2014, in A Little Zen and tagged grief, Health, healthy, healthy mind, mental health, relaxation, Self-Help, Stress, Stress management, zen. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.